since when is marriage.....

[img]redface.gif[/img]

[img]tongue.gif[/img] [img]cool.gif[/img]


[img]graemlins/sheep.gif[/img] & [img]graemlins/rainbow.gif[/img] ?

Wow..that was a great post, Blazey.

I cant believe you've spent only 8 hours apart!
That's pretty incredible. So...I must ask...what happened during those 8 hours?

You threw a wild party didnt you? DIDNT YOU!?!?!?!

hahahaha...noooo..he went to a gun trading show with my dad.. [img]eek.gif[/img] ..that was maybe 5 hours..the other three have been going to the driving range with my dad too..we have a golfer in the making.. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

I am serious when i say that about the time too..i dont feel as if its been that long..it seeme like he just got here yesterday..he is my best freind..my lover..pretty much my whole life..there arent too many couples nowadays that can say that....

You know..something ive been thinking on..and im gonna post it on this thread..do you think if your married..and your talking to lots of people here on the net..members of the opposite sex espicially..say talking..flirting..going on as if you werent married..is that right? Is it considered cheating to you? I talk to alot of people on here..my husband shares the same room as me most time..he can see everything i type if he chooses to read..and i can see what he says too if i wanted to..neither of us feel the need to check on each other..anyhow..im asking..if your doing things on the net as compared to real life..is it still cheating?

i say it definitely depends if your spouse knows.
when you open your life up to your spouse, and
make it so that nothing is secret (within reason)
then its a wholesome experience for you both.

however, if deceit is involved...

its a whole new can of worms

shit... here i am replying like i 'happened' upon
this thread [img]graemlins/sure.gif[/img]

what i mean is... that is EXACTLY what i was
saying in the first post.

ahhhhhhhhh..i was hoping we were on the same wavelength.. [img]tongue.gif[/img] ..That is a question ive seen debated before..but i dont remember if i ever saw it debated on here..and what better place i say! You have alot of varying personalities here..which should make for a very interesting discussion.. [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

I was married for 4 years and it was not a good marriage. Good people we both were, yes, started out for all the right reasons, just didn't stay that way. I tried to make it work with everything I was I did. I tried to talk he didn't care. We both worked and raised our son. But when it came down to what mattered, being friends, he didn't care about really knowing who I was or what made me tick. The fine details of who we were mattered. If I tried with him, he got mad. I'll never forget going to marriage counseling alone. When it was time for him to go with me, he would not go. Damn straight it takes 2 to try. I told him, flat out, if we can't talk, if we can't be friends, how can you love me, you don't know me, you don't share anything with me other then a bed, then how in the hell can we be married. Being married should emcompass everything. Being everything from bestfriends to spouse, and everything that comes with any relationship. Nurturing, care, romance and laughter. It all. You know what his response was in return. Marriage has nothing to do with being friends. Thats when I packed my bags and I left. I have never regreted doing that. He learned a valuable lesson and so did I. Marriage is nothing to take lightly. Those vows you speak you better mean and mean them with everything you are. I did. But my life has value too and I refused to stay in a hopeless, loveless and unhappy life just to appease a bunch of onlookers who think I should have stuck it out. My son deserved better, so did I and so did he. We all know that today and I and my son are happy and stand a chance at a good life. A happy life. My ex still a wreck. Its very sad. The funny thing is we are betetr friends today being apart then we ever were married. We know that it just was not a good match. I don't even want to imagine where I would be if I was still married to him. Probably dead. Not just physically. I was headed there in the worst way back then. He sees that now. We can actually sit and talk and laugh about those days a little. But he regrets not seeing then what he knows now. Its ok. Everything happens for a reson. I am glad we still talk and enjoy each others company as friends would. Its nice.

Then I had some pretty abusive relationships after that. I relized I needed to heal and build myself before adding to my structure. Today I am 10 fold who I was 10 years ago, hell 3 years ago...hell I change and get better by the day. If and when the right one for me comes along. I will add to my life not just fill a hole or a void or get married cause it fashionable. Getting divorced really killed me, cause its giving up and I don't give up. On anything. But I had to save my self from this destructive situation and my son needed do have a chance at a good life. We have that in spades now.

My view on marriage. Its seeing yourself grow old with this person. Ready and willing to do the work. Knowing when times get hard, you both have to work on it. Its being everything to each other and falling in love over and over. I have talked to people that have been marreid for 50+ years and this is always what they tell me that makes it work.

I know this had nothing to do with the topic, but felt it was relevant somehow.....

I like both posts from Blazey and Wiqued.Some valuable insight in both.

I think I learned from my first marriage that you have to have more in common then love.We loved eachother,but what we wanted to do with our lives was vastly different and thus we were unhappy together.

As for Shatzys view of hypocrites,there are crappy people all over the place,just make sure you dont marry one.

Oh...,and the girlfriend and I got things patched up.Shes a pretty neat woman [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

Ain't that the truth.

When the passion fizzles and it does , there better be something else there to takes its place. Its ok to be different, but I so agree, you need to have some things in common, and simular values to sustain the long run. I think thats so true....

I remember this women said to me, about marriage.... she could really hate the sight of her husband some days, make her so mad she could spit. Then he would smile a certain way or reach for the salt and something hit her and she would fall in love again and again and she remembered why she loved him so. It was magic.